Adoption

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…
Teacher Debbie Moon’s first graders were discussing a picture of a
family. One little boy in the picture had a different colour hair than
the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a
little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.”
[...]

Mr. Fenton is no longer welcome in WalMart

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
Three of our clerks are attending [...]

Season Opener

Former stripper Anna Benson caught her husband, ex-New York Mets
pitcher Kris Benson, cheating on her and she once vowed that if she
did, she would sleep with the entire Mets organization. So, once
again, the Mets are screwed even before the season starts.
(Alex Kaseberg)

Wake and Bake

Definition
Wake and Bake: to attend an Irish funeral and a cremation in the same day.
(Not to be confused with rising in the a.m. to the smell of marijuana)