Coupons

The budget-minded woman was always clipping coupons in

the young, lean years when she was first married, and

even kept detailed records of how much money she

saved. One of her first jobs way back then was

running the cash register at the local drugstore.

One day, she had a self-conscious young man approach

the counter to buy some condoms. She noticed a

dollar-off coupon on the box and asked him if he’d

like to use it, adding that she and her husband had

saved over $400 redeeming coupons last year.

The stunned young man replied, “On these?!”

Funny Jokes – Chinese Laundry

Funny Jokes – Chinese Laundry

A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry.

When it comes back there are still stains in her panties. So the next week she encloses a note to the Chinese man that says, “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

Finally fed up the Chinese man responded with his own note that said, “USE MORE PAPER ON REAR END!!!”

Quotes

Language Barrier

Language Barrier…..

Asian lady married an English gentleman and they lived happily ever
after in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in
English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real
problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She
didn’t know how to put forward her request and in desperation, lifted
up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the
lady went home with chicken legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn’t
know how to say it and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher
her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy wieners. Unable to find a way
to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
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Hellooooooo!
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Her husband speaks English!!!

Season Opener

Former stripper Anna Benson caught her husband, ex-New York Mets
pitcher Kris Benson, cheating on her and she once vowed that if she
did, she would sleep with the entire Mets organization. So, once
again, the Mets are screwed even before the season starts.
(Alex Kaseberg)

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror

A woman bought a mirror from an antiques store near her home.
She placed it on the bath room door.
One day when she got out the shower she decided to have a laugh.
She says to the mirror: “Mirror mirror on my door

This has been moved to Mirror Mirror

Two Lovers

Two Lovers

Two lovers left a party and hailed a cab to take them to a romantic hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.

Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cab driver noticed a fork in the road, and said, “I take the next turn, right?”

“No way, get your own,” said the man, “this one’s mine!”

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