4th of July Jokes

Funny Jokes – 4th of July Jokes

How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!

What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

4th of July Quotes

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

4th of July Quotes

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!

Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Fourth of July Recipes

Mother’s Day Jokes

Mother’s Day versus Father’s Day

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

“Nothing,” said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, They don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you’.”

“Well don’t feel bad.” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father’s Day gift.”

“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

Mother’s Day Quotes

A mother understands what a child does not say.
- Unknown

Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said that there’d be so many!
- Unknown

Mother’s Day Recipes

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate
- Unknown

WORKING MOTHER — Any mother who gets out of bed.

Mother’s Day Jokes

Swine Flu Symptoms

Swine Flu Jokes

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Top 10 Signs of Having Swine Flu

1. Tears flow from your small eyes during a nightly bedtime reading of Three Little Pigs
2. A small curly tail is growing at the top of your tailbone
3. When called to dinner, you head directly to the trough in the backyard
4. Your thumbs and big toes are missing
5. You apply mud instead of suntan lotion on a sunny day
6. You develop a liking for truffles
7. At each meal you literally lick your plate clean
8. You emit short snorts between sentences
9. When friends visit you, they remark, “Man, this place is a pigsty!”
10. Fever accompanied by the smell of bacon

Source:  Top 10 Signs of Having Swine Flu

Quotes Sayings Recipes Jokes

Irish Jokes

Irish Quotes

St. Patrick’s Day Quotes

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.

- Irish Saying

Shortest Irish joke ever: Two Irishmen walk out of a bar

Q: What’s Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

A: Patty O’Furniture!

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck.

- Daryl Stout

Q. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?

A. Gaelic breath.

Irish Recipes

Irish Jokes