4th of July Jokes
How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!
Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
What dance was very popular in 1776?
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
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