4th of July Jokes

Funny Jokes – 4th of July Jokes

How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!

What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

4th of July Quotes

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

4th of July Quotes

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!

Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Fourth of July Recipes

Funny Jokes – Bee Sting

Bee Sting

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?’

‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.

‘Where’, he asked.

‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your stance is too wide.’

I’ll hold your monkey for you

Funny Jokes …

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off.

Go ahead; I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Mother’s Day Jokes

Mother’s Day versus Father’s Day

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

“Nothing,” said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, They don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you’.”

“Well don’t feel bad.” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father’s Day gift.”

“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

Mother’s Day Quotes

A mother understands what a child does not say.
- Unknown

Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said that there’d be so many!
- Unknown

Mother’s Day Recipes

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate
- Unknown

WORKING MOTHER — Any mother who gets out of bed.

Mother’s Day Jokes