Easter Jokes – What the Easter Bunny Taught Me

What the Easter bunny taught me

ALL I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY

Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.
Walk softly and carry a big carrot.
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There’s no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off other people’s jellybeans.
Good things come in small sugar-coated packages.
The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket.
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
To show your true colors – you have to come out of your shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.
Author Unknown

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Easter Jokes – The Meaning of Easter

Three Canadian Blonds …..

Three Canadian blondes died and found themselves standing before St.Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented. The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.” St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.” St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to Hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said, “So, tell me.” She said, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder … “

St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good.”

Then the blonde continued, “Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey.”

St. Peter fainted.

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Easter Jokes – Easter Bunny Jokes

Easter Bunny Jokes

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Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide the egg?

A. Because it was a little chicken.

Q. What does the Easter Rabbit get for making a basket?

A. Two points just like everybody!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

A. Bugs Bunny

Q. What do you call a dumb bunny?A. A hare brain.

Q. What’s the best way to catch a unique rabbit?

A. You ‘nique up on him.

Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?

A. Tame way, unique up on it.

Q. How many hairs in a rabbit’s tail?

A. None, they’re all on the outside.

Top 10 Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts

10. Neighbors describing him as “a quiet loner.”

9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, “You’re going to die up there, fat man!”

8. Can’t stop washing his paws.

7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.

6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.

5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a “suicide egg.”

4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his crawl space.

3. Won’t come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.

2. He’s hippity-hopped up on crack.

1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.

Q. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?A. A receding hareline.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

A. Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boyscout?

A. A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?

A. An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.

Q. How are rabbits like calculators?

A. They both multiply really fast.

Q. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be twelve inches long?

A. Because then it would be a foot.

Q. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?

A. Just look for the gray hares.

Q. How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?

A. When it has hares in it.

Q. What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?

A. A funny bunny.

Q. What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole?

A. Cold.

Q. What do rabbits have that nothing else in the world has?

A. Baby rabbits.

Q. What is a rabbit’s favorite dance?

A. The Bunny Hop of course.

Q. Waitress, what’s this hare doing in my soup?A. Looks like the back stroke.

Q. How do bunnies stay healthy?

A. Eggercise

Q. What do you cal a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?

A. A smarty pants.

Q. What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken?

A. The first Rabbit to lay and egg.

Q. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?

A. A Hot Cross bunny.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?

A. A harenet.

Q. What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?

A. Thistle have to do!

Q. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?

A. It has 4 rabbits’ feet.

Q. How do you get letter to a bunny?

A. Hare mail.

Q. What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?

A. One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?

A. A bunion.

Q. What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?

A. A harenet.

Q. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?

A. Join the Hare Force.

Q. What goes ha-ha-clunk?

A. A bunny laughing its head off.

Q. How do you make a rabbit stew?

A. Make it wait for 3 hours!

Q. Where does a bunny go when it dies?

A. To the hare-after.

Q: Why are people always tired in April?

A: Because they just finished a march

Q: What do you call a very smart bunny?

A: An egghead.

Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?

A: Tired.

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

A: It’s been nice gnawing you.

Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?

A: Because he is eggocentric. (egocentric)

Q: Where does Valentine’s Day comes after Easter?

A: In the dictionary.

Q: Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?

A: Hareobics.

Q: What’s the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?

A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

Q: How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?

A: Hoppy Easter!

Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?

A: He’d just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.

Q. Why does the easter bunny have such a shiny nose?

A. His powder puff’s on the wrong end.

Q. What do you call it when a rabbit has an accident with a knife?

A. A hare cut.

Q. Why do rabbits do so well at school?

A. They’re experts at multiplication.

Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

A. Neither–the Easter Bunny!

Q. Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?

A. To the retail store.

Q. Do you know how to find the Easter bunny if he was lost?

A. Make a noise like a carrot; he’ll find you.

Knock,knock.

Who’s there?

Ether

Ether who?

Ether bunny.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Juan

Juan who?

Juan more ether bunny.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Stella

Stella who?

Stella nother ether bunny.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Justin

Justin who?

Justin other Ether Bunny.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Samoa

Samoa who?

Samoa Ether Bunnies.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Beryl

Beryl who?

Beryl of ether bunnies.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dewey

Dewey who?

Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Consumption.

Consumption who?

Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

Cargo “beep, beep”…run over all the ether bunnies.

Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don’t cry–all the Ether bunnies will be back again next year!”

Q. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?

A. 14 carrot gold.

Q. What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?

A. One with a hoppy ending.

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