* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that
it’s good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting
on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants
because they cause cancer.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the
estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers
because they are nothing other than horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in
a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for
fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don’t send this e-mail to at
least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will
crap on you today at 7pm.