Apparently from an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were
asked to imitate “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.” —
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is
why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to
wash clothes on the last day of their life? — Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept
the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. — Age 13
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting
just any old yokel vote. — Age 10
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.
Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.
That’s what happens to cheese when you leave it out. — Age 6
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