Funny Quotes – Insults

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.
– Noel Coward

Teaching Spelling

Funny Quotes – Insults

But as he knew no bad language, he had called him all the names of common objects that he could think of, and had screamed: “You lamp! You towel! You plate!” and so on.
– Sigmund Freud

Funny Quotes

Funny Jokes

Dead Donkey

A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.

So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done.

The mayor must have been having a bad day. “Why bother me?” he asked. “You’re a clergyman. It’s your job to bury the dead.”

The pastor lost his cool. “Yes,” he snapped, “But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin.”

Wilson Almanac

Inept romantic sentiments

The Washington Post asked readers to come up with inept romantic sentiments

for Valentine’s Day:

Your kisses are sweeter than wine, but without the paper bag.

I am irrationally exuberant for you in the third quarter of my fiscal life, with rising


My love for you runs hotter than a ’74 Nova with a V-8 engine and a busted water


Darling, you make me as hot as those hand dryers in a turnpike restroom.

If we were cockroaches, I’d want to have all 456,845 of your children.