Funny Jokes

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Funny Jokes

Jewish woman

The children and grandchildren of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise.

Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, “Oh, I see you have U.D.” She replied, “U.D.? Voos is U.D.? He said, “U.D. is Upper Deck.”

She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser there and he said, I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C.” Grandma replied, “O.C.? Voos is O.C.?”

The purser said, “O.C. is Outside Cabin.” Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy and he said,”Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B.”

“B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?” asked grandma. The cabin boy answered, “B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed.”

“Oh” she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful.”

Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she said, “F.U.C.K”

Shocked, they said, “F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?”, to which she replied, “Yes, F.U.C.K. Foist U Could Knock

Henny Youngman Quotes

Funny Jokes

Catholic mothers

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?” She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6′ 2”, hard bodied, well-hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, “My God….”

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