Funny Jokes

Animals in a Bar

There’s these animals in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night …

The skunk says ‘Don’t look at me, I haven’t got a scent’

The duck says ‘Just put it on my bill’

The cow says ‘You’ll have to ask one of the udders’

The deer says ‘I had a buck last week and I’m expecting a little doe soon’

The giraffe says ‘Well, I guess the high balls are on me then’

The frog says, “I’ve got one greenback”

The vampire bat is thinking, “Which one can I stick for the drink today?”

The snake says, I guess I cant hold my liquor.

Another snake says: ” If you think I’m paying that, you can kiss my Asp.”

No, the snake said, “It’s hiss turn to pay.”

The Rhinocerous says: “Don’t worry. When the waiter comes I’ll just charge it.”

The amoeba said, “I’ve got to split now.”

The paramecium said, “I’ll split it with him.”

The groundhog said, “If you let me go I shadow you a favor.”

The turtle said, “I shell pay next time.”

The chicken said, “I hope it’s cheep.”

The elephant said, “But I’ve hardly trunk a drop.”

The dachshund said, “I’ve got be to getting a long now.”

The manx cat said, “I know you’ve probably heard this tail before, but I’m a little short.”

The chicken said, “If feather I pay it’ll be a cold day in heck.”

And the snail said, “No, you shell out the same as me”!

And the trotters said “take 50 cents from two quarterhorses”.

The beaver said, “Dam if I’ll pay”.

Ken said “See Barbie ’bout a doll, her”.

The cows said “We got plenty o’ mooolah”.

The bumblebee said “Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzz zzzzzz z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zzzzzzz off

The zebra said, “It’s black and white–I haven’t the money.”

They each said, “Ask some otter animal.”

But the lion said, “I’ll pay–I’ve still got my pride.” Mythical Man Month

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One Response

  1. I love the lion. So classy and nice!

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