Funny Quotes – Insults

He could never see a belt without hitting below it.
– Margot Asquith

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Funny Quotes – Insults

Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
– P. G. Wodehouse

Mark Twain Quotes

All I Need To Know About Leap Year Birthdays,

I Learned From My Cat!

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Joke of the Day

Be finicky – they’ll try harder to please you in four years.

If you don’t like your presents, SULK.

If you get bored at your party – just curl up for a nap.

Don’t stress out over your first gray whisker.

Act completely unimpressed by the presents you receive.

Remember, this is your day, so if anyone bugs you, you’re

allowed to hiss and spit.

Take the day off and lie in the sun.

Stay out on the prowl all night long.

Demand only the most expensive fresh fish for dinner.

It’s a good day to shed your inhibitions.

If you aren’t getting enough attention, sharpen your claws on

somebody’s leg.

Don’t let anything or anyone PUT YOU OUT!

And remember…curiosity might kill you, but birthdays won’t!

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