A Word To The Wise

Funny Jokes – A word to the wise…….

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the

This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window
and gave her the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic and here’s why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that’s 76 miles. Of
these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper; most of the bumper-to-bumper is
on 8 lane highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that
means I pass something like one car very 40 feet per lane. That’s 7
cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every
mile, or 31,424 cars.

I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars on the areas not
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In
any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their
period. That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding, that’s 449. According to the National Institutes of
Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or
homicide, that’s 98. 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that’s

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female
that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has
seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her
period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of giving her the

Quite Funny Jokes