A Word To The Wise

Funny Jokes – A word to the wise…….

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the
shoulder.

This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window
and gave her the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic and here’s why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that’s 76 miles. Of
these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper; most of the bumper-to-bumper is
on 8 lane highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that
means I pass something like one car very 40 feet per lane. That’s 7
cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every
mile, or 31,424 cars.

I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars on the areas not
bumper-to-bumper.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In
any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their
period. That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding, that’s 449. According to the National Institutes of
Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or
homicide, that’s 98. 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that’s
33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female
that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has
seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her
period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of giving her the
finger!

Quite Funny Jokes

8 Responses

  1. Wow!
    That is the dumbest analysis that I have ever read.
    This was either written by a woman, or a neglected momma’s boy.
    Women are by far the worst and most dangerous drivers on the road today.
    Add to the fact that 98% of them are yapping on their cell phones while they perform their careless and clueless driving, and you have your reason for most of the traffic delays and accidents on our highways.

    The HOV lane should be reassigned for women drivers that like to talk on their cellphones. That way, they can talk on the phone, switch lanes without signaling, drive in the fast lane while equaling the speed of the slower lane as to block everyone else, and basically improve most of our commute to and from work.

    That is all.

  2. quite funny very american but still funny

  3. Awww, and we thought you were just a nice guy!

  4. LOL That’s hilarious!!

  5. I thought it was funny. what i didnt think was funny was the response from “married with children” I drive the 101 to and from work every day.
    the biggest problem is the men in white pickups and suvs on their cellphones in the left lane going 55. Men cannot multitask! Women have been doing it for years, men just started and are not good at it at all.

  6. OMG!!! nice 1
    lol…

  7. married with children must be a man, and how did you stay married with children with an attitude like that, most ment couldn’t survive without a woman to cook and clean for them, they wouldn’t know what to do if left by themselves with a couple of children that had to be fed and laundry that needed to be done, homework, bathtime, phone ringing and any of the other things that happen on a daily basis, it takes a real man to help and respect his female because without one you wouldn’t be here.

  8. u suk thae suk

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