Funny Jokes – Dear Fellow Business Owners

Dear Fellow Business Owners:

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely,

Funny Jokes Business Owner

For all of the commenting visitors:

If you liked or hated this one, you will probably like or hate this one as well

Famous Quotes

38 Responses

  1. hello…all…good morning….how about the funny jokes?????

  2. ups….the time is wrong…
    i am from malaysia and the time is 9.09 am

  3. Nice! I’m going to remember that one.😀

  4. WRONG! But funny anyway…this from an Obama supporter who knows her job is safe as long as Obama is elected and NOT McCain😉

  5. ur joking…CUT IT OUT.just because u dont like obama doesnt mean u have to RANT about it.IF UR GONNA MAKE JOKES ABOUT HIM THEN I SUGGEST U AT LEAAST MAKE A JOKE ABOUT MCCAIN CROAKING OR SOMETHING.

  6. It’s amazing that someone so ignorant can even come up with funny jokes.

  7. Duh. You should fire yourself for voting for Bush and Cheney and allowing them and their cronies to rape and pillage our economy. The tax burden on the rich and on profitable corporations above a certain size should be increased, and the burden on the poor and middle class families should be reduced.

    You are an asshole.

  8. If only this were (a) funny or (b) based on facts……

  9. Im sorry, but you must have been misinformed at birth. Not only are you a complete moron but, your the owner of this page? WTF dude. Your jokes stink worse than the carcus of an old man on a hot day.

    Resign your job.

  10. Haha, this was so hilarious I nearly pooped my pants, then I realized that you coulnd’t possibly employ 30 people for this website due to how extremely lame it is.

  11. what the deuce?????

  12. Are you serious??
    You will honsetly lay the people off for supporting who they belive is right to run our country. You can not do that…. just because they are suppoting someone you probably don’t like, doesn’t mean that they have to change their decisions.
    Whoever the people are supporting Obama, you are doing the right thing! If this gusy lays you off from your job, go out and get a new job, a job that doesn’t have racism!

    2008 elections VOTE OBAMA!

  13. […] Funny Jokes – Dear Fellow Business Owners Dear Fellow Business Owners: As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack […] […]

  14. THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!

    Let’s see how he takes care of the fools that elected him now!!!!

  15. Haha. No evaluations or consideration for seniority or competence, huh? Just politics as the basis for canning them. Nice. That’s funny? I don’t get it.

  16. This is great and FAIR….

  17. Hysterical! Nothing like a threat to help defend the American Way of Life! Obviously the kind of people who support the American Constitution and its noble history of trying to define a workable democracy is best represented by someone deciding to influence the process with threats.

    Now, in defense, IF he finds that his taxes go up, AND he has to lay people off, then, he can use any criteria he, and the government determine is fair. However, I think that any business man should be able to realize that if taxes go up, it is probably to pay for the multi-trillion dollar debt the last 8 years have left us with. You know, the one the ‘smaller government’ people left us. And any real business man would know that business already sucks, and is unlikely to get better, at least until the government straitens out this deregulation mess, you know the one that the ‘trickle down’ people gave us?

    Other than that . . . hysterical. Literally, hysteria. ‘irrational, unreasoning fear’

  18. Wait, this is a joke, right?

  19. Thats not very funny

  20. Good one, but it should be in the letters section of the newsday and not a joke.

  21. Dear Business Owner,

    After being layed off , I will be using Earn Income Tax to do my taxes.

  22. haha, that was the worst joke that I have ever heard! You definitly aren’t good at this kind of thing!!!

  23. I think it is a really fnuny joke. But its not really a joke. It is all very real people will be laid off because of Obama and the US will go down the toilet. If people want to vote for Obama then they deserve to be laid off.

  24. How appropriate! More sad than funny, but an illustration of the truth. The posters here are so sensitive! Funny how folks are completely ignorant of the unintended consequences of “sticking it to the man” (most liberal ideas have grave unintended consequences!!). As a conservative and most importantly a Christian, I am going to be a happy man regardless of who is in the White House – my life and happiness does not depend upon the actions of any ignoramus in Washington – I am responsible for my own economic security, not government. Even so, Obama supporters do not admit (or maybe they just don’t realize…?) the consequences of raising taxes on the “rich” and business owners like Obama will do (with the support of the House and Senate, having essentially a blank check to spend hardworking Americans’ money) awful things to the economy and the poor and middle class will be the meat in the double-tax sandwich (Bush tax cuts expire + increase in cost of goods due to increased taxes to business owners). You may still like the idea of “sticking it to the man”, but don’t be so ignorant as to not realize the economic realities of doing business under those circumstances. You will be paying more for everything – an indirect tax on the poor and middle income folks.

    http://www.barackobamatest.com

  25. I have to say this but in some ways this is not funny I know people who runs small bus and I use to run a not so small one myself and I have read both of there proposals and well Obama will cause some business to have to lay off due to higher taxes and high transportation cost many business will be force to raise prices and thoughs who cant will do to many factors comp and such will be forced to close his health care package will be worse though then his tax plan though go fig not to mention neigher package can ever go though as is do to they will have to raise taxes due to large debt so it doesnt truly matter.

  26. knnorthcarolina, many folks will not vote Obama, and it has nothing to do with race, but the fact that his is wrong for the country, and wrong for business-white, black, red, purple, whatever. I think it would be appropriate to lay off the folks that voted the buffoon that implemented those business-wrecking policies into office and caused the need for the layoffs in the first place. Anyone who makes that kind of a charge is more of a racist than anyone not supporting Obama..holy moly!!

    And to the individual who thinks “any business man should be able to realize that if taxes go up, it is probably to pay for the multi-trillion dollar debt the last 8 years have left us with”. So…we should just bend over and take it? “Sure, Mr. Government, you have been irresponsible with my money. Here, let me give you some more to pay off your irresponsibility. Oh, you don’t want to do that? You want to use it to buy more irresponsible programs? Sure! I’m a business owner, and I realize that you are just raising taxes on me to pay off your debt…” and on the cycle goes.

    Is it too much work for you to sift through the rhetoric on both sides and really think about the issues and where policies will end up? Maybe its just easier to believe the “default” position – liberalism. It takes no thought or work to be a liberal. Be lazy, watch pmsnbc, cBS, CNN, pBS and believe the drive-by journalism. It takes thought to work through an issue to its end and make an intelligent decision. But that process will lead you to the truth – true conservatism.

  27. UHMM must be making over 200,000 a year ! Gee wish I could! It’s right that the rich of this nation should have to kick in a little more than the poor and middle class! they suffered long enough being in slaved to the rich and lazy!
    Who dosn’t have any idea what it’s like to work their butts off and see most of what they earn go to the rich man’s whims! What’s the matter afriad of being taxed for once!I am a small buss. owner myself but I don not care if I must pay a tid bit more than people making under 200,000 a year! I am keeping all my employees and I don’t care who they vote for because thats our freedom !

  28. David Campbell – based on 2007 treasury data, the top 1% of income earners pay 39% of all federal income tax, the top 25% of income earners account for 86% of all federal income tax, and the top 50% of income earners pay for 97% of all federal income tax. “The tax burden on the rich and on profitable corporations above a certain size should be increased, and the burden on the poor and middle class families should be reduced.” Reduced to what? 2%? 1%? With these figures in mind, what could possibly motivate you to say that the tax burden should be INCREASED on the rich? What is exactly the burden on poor and middle class families? 3%? The Bush tax cuts actually RAISED the amount of tax paid by the top 1% from 37% to 39%! What in the world are you thinking?? Maybe you’re not…

  29. I think it must be you who affixed Obama bumper stickers on cars of employess you wanted to fire anyway?

  30. All the people who criticized this joke do not understand the fundamentals of business or economics. None of them have employees. All of them should be laid off from their jobs.
    It’s serious business. All employers will have to lay people off in the new economy Barack will cause. Who wants to be a capitalist in a socialist economy? No one. That’s why the stock market is crashing. All the investors want to cash out now before he possibly wins the election. This is evidenced by the 900 point rally after a poll indicating McCain closed the gap by a mere 2 points.
    Sorry folks but your pipe dream doesn’t work. Anywhere. Rich people create jobs. Not the government.
    Sorry people. You’re just plain wrong and you are slaves to your emotions.
    The only way Obama can win this election is by stealing it through voter fraud and groups like ACORN.
    If you don’t like the way this country is run, leave. I’ll buy you a plane ticket.

  31. I don’t believe you.

    I can’t honestly say I really like either Democrats or Republicans. Since Lee Atwater eliminated decency in American politics, Republicans have stooped lower and lower to maintain their wealth and power with each campaign.

    What you’re doing here is morally repugnant. To his favor, at least Obama focuses on a positive, constructive vision and limits his critiques to the argument at hand.

    The McCain guys are muck raking in the worst possible ways. It’s all staying in control and protecting your own self interests. They should look at the bigger picture of what this is doing to the other Americans, the world, and the human race.

  32. If I made $250,000 a year, I’d proudly be first in line to pay my taxes.

  33. What a wonderful idea. I like it.

  34. When you start working your butt off and making $250k a year in your family, Tracy (200K singly), you’ll change your mind about how you just throw your money away. You obviously think 250K is a lot of cash, but it really ain’t.

  35. January 1, 1863

    Deary Fellow Plantation Owners,

    As a plantation owner with over 30 workers, I have resigned myself to the fact that the Emancipation Proclamation will take hold and that my costs are going to go up in a BIG way.
    To compensate for the increase, I figure that the customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them because I am certainly not going to change my lifestyle just for millions of people to be able to live a better life!
    This really bothered me because I believed we were all family here and now I don’t know who from my actual family will now have to go out and replace my lost field workers, so this is what I did…
    I strolled thru the parking area and found 8 “Emancipation” bumper stickers on some of my familys horse & carrigages. I decided that these people will be the first to leave the house and go work in the fields! I can’t think of another way to solve this problem. If you have a better idea let me know.
    I am sending this to all the plantation owners I know!

    Sincerely, an “American”

  36. obama has been elected and so far:
    two of my family members have no job
    guantanamo bay has been closed
    Mrs. Obamas outfits have become increasingly expensive
    many families are in debt and praying that the stimulus bill works
    we will all hopefully benefit from the 2million dollar electric train line from san-fran-sisco to disney world which is part of the stimulus bill. OBAMA IS STUPID AND I LOVE THIS JOKE!!!!!!!!

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