Out of Office Auto-Replies

Funny Jokes – Out of the Office Auto-Replies

You are receiving this automatic notification because I amout of the office.  If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on April 1st.

Please be patient and your Mail will be deleted in the order it was received.


Funny Jokes – New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions That You Can Really Keep

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight.
2. Stop exercising.
3. Read less.
4. Watch more TV.
5. Procrastinate more.
6. Open and use even more charge accounts.
7. Subscribe to more eMail lists.
8. Spend more time at work.
9. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
10. Start being superstitious.