US Navy SEAL #tcot

God and the Atheist

Funny Jokes #TCOT

A US Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.”

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.”

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Navy SEAL got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and punched him in the face, knocking him off the platform. The professor was totally unconscious, I mean out cold!

The SEAL then went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Navy SEAL and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The SEAL calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid crap like that and act like an asshole. So He sent me!”

Jokes Funny

18 Responses

  1. And this qualifies as a joke? Ya know, there are religious and political blogs for this sort of statement.

  2. get over it Carlos… Hoooaaaahhhhhh!!!

  3. So god only cares about americans? Wow… Thats some ignorant shit right there. This site never has jokes, it just has repulican/christian propaganda. Question, if the tables were turned and some country came over here and began killin us because they were spreading “freedom” or believed their government was better then ours, how would you feel? If you can even process that question without back-lashing with some ignorant USA is #1 and God will watch over us type comment, then maybe there is hope…

  4. Doug,
    No one is forcing you to live here, you big whinny pussy. I’m sorry Americans that love America piss you off so much. That must suck for you. If you would like to move to a place where everyone thinks like you( everywhere else in the world) i’m sure there would be plenty of people willing to help pay for your plane ticket.

  5. How do we get in touch with Doug? I’d like to discuss this more. I’ll try a Yahoo chat room. Chicks with Dicks, Guys with Tits, Young Girls who are Really Guys.

  6. Hey all, I agree that this is very political and Religious, however, it is humorous and people who like it can enjoy it and people who don’t can click on the next joke and read one they enjoy. Be peaceful! 🙂

  7. I think this is funny< I also think that the first few comments are from retarded people, he was making a statment to his ignorant teachers comment because obviously he didn’t have any respect for anyone else’s beliefs american or otherwise, I would have punched him too
    GO USA AND GOD PROTECT OUT SOLIDERS OVER SEAS, IF IT WEREN’T FOR THEM YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE!!!

  8. I am Canadian and I found the joke quite funny.There is too much enfisis on political correctness today for my liking.Sometimes a joke is just a joke if it offends you then don’t read it!

  9. Question, Doug; what’s a repulican? Is it kind of like a pelican? Or a Republican?

    Anyway, douchebaggery aside, I love this joke.😀

  10. I understand your left brain idiots right you have no brains or national pride right I mean that joke was funny and I hate to tell you this but any one who says different shouldn’t be in america. and one more thing Doug the moron the reason you have the rights you have is because an AMERICAN fought and died to give you that right so go back from where you came from you nazi piece of crap……..

  11. HOOYA!!!!!!!!

    This will be great for moral to US Service men and women overseas….
    BTW I have a joke about Marines (more of a fact than a joke though jaja), where can i send it to?

  12. HAHAHA! Ya’ll make me laugh! Just because im not a bible beater, doesnt mean i dont love my country! All of you just make my point stronger, but luckily, YOU are the minority these days… Which is why YOU lost the election by a landslide. The world is progressing and your getting left in the dust, which is fine with me, i can stand to do without you self righteous, narrow minded people.

    I hope God gives you all the knowledge to see how wrong what we are doing is. I hope God acts fast enough to avoid anymore senseless deaths of our young men and women. I hope God protects all our soldiers, as well as all the soldiers that are trying to protect what they think is right… Because thats what ANYONE would do that gets attacked/invaded, right? Its clear that you guys dont have the ability to see things from any other view then what Fox news tells you. I attacked your beliefs and you instantly went on the defense like 5 year-olds with name calling and cursing… ITS THE SAME THING! We invaded another country and forced our beliefs on them… What do you expect except for them to defend themselves… We are terrorists to them! Cant you guys see this!? Are you really THAT blind?

    You can continue with your childish attacks on me, OR you could think about things like an adult and actually learn some empathy… Thats a college word, for those of you that dont know, Empathy: is the ‘capacity’ to recognize or understand another’s ‘state of mind’ or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to “put oneself into another’s shoes”, or in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself.

    Terrorism: is the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion… Really think about this definition and really think about what we are doing. True there are terrorists all over the world… But if you have the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes… WE are also terrorists to them! We are fighting a war on terror, by using terror! WAR DOES NOT END WAR!

    And now i leave it to you to come at me with your childish attacks, rather then a discussion. Because when you feel attacked, you attack back in defense. The funny thing is, im not attacking you. Im educating you. But if your not open to it, or ready for it… It makes you feel stupid, therefore attacked and therefore you attack me with silly insults.

    Im more American then any of you (uh oh, i better get ready for some insults). I believe in freedom (including religious freedom) and equality for all mankind (not just Americans). Thats what our country was founded on… Thats why the “pilgrims” came here, so they could have FREEDOM. Learn your history!

  13. can’t we all just smoke a joint or something?

  14. Ok you stupid commenters. You military haters. Its like this if someone actually did invade this country, you wussies would run away, hide, or crap your pants. The problem with you is that all of your comments and your adgenda are perfectly predictable. You would be the same whiners that would sit in your cars and debate each other while a woman got raped in a mall parking lot or a bank robber robbed a bank in plain sight. It is not different. Sadam violated UN mandates, and the law but its ok in your book. You wouldn’t get involved and you would care, and you would have some stupid ass idea that it all occured because of the criminal’s background or upbringing or something.You would be the same idiots in New York that rioted during the Civil War and refused to fight against the south. You would be the same Dorey Day’s of the WWII that supported Hitler by pacification. You are predictable period. You join NAMBLA you join PETA you join the ACLU and complain about firemen responding to a fire with their lights and sirens, the police protecting you and themselves, and the troops fighting the TALIBAN. Its “their culture” when they are beating and beheading women, but when some solider’s defends himself, hes a “baby killer.” I am a liberal, I voted for Obama, but I support the troops and whatever war they are in. Its not Vietnam anymore stop living in the Sixties get a job. Ever wonder why you are always standing in a protest lines fighting the cops, pouring urine all overt them and espousing anarchy, and then claiming your “non- violent”. Your not “non violent” your just a stupid coward. You would piss yourself in Basic training much less anywhere near the front lines. Stop Whining wieners.

  15. I bet it bothers you that Obama is going to stay in Iraq for another five years and that there will be American bases in Iraq. I bet it bothers you that Obama didn’t send troops to Ruwanda, but he is sending them to Alfganistan. I bet it bothers you that the Obama millitary budget is up over 20 percent next year. I bet it drives you crazy that that horrible contractor Blackwater will now simply switch names and continue to guard our huge embassy in Iraq. You think that the MC should be prancing around in Iraq unarmed. You see most of you Amy Goodman “Democracy Now” lovers are the same ones that piss your pants. You are stupidcowards tryiing to make yourselves appear “nobel”. Obama is not going to have that much of a different foreign plicy than Bush, it kills you dosen’t it”? He is going to continue to not hate Isreal, continue bases all over the world, and continue to have armed Marine guards at Embassys (OMG). He will conintue to support the military because he is a realist not stupid like you are.

  16. And on top of that Obama actaully took over ten minutes in his last State of the Union addres praising the troops, but not you you. You are predictable if not anything. You hate the troops, hate firefighters and hate the police. You complain about everything and don’t do anything, much less work. Your a vegan because of the “cruelty involved in industrial meat processing”, but you hate hunters because they control the wildlife population, humanely. You want gun control becuase you actaully think that the police care about your asses and you can whip your way out of the drug induced fog that you are in. You “love God”, but hate “organized religion”, except Bob Marley of course.

  17. You are the same ones that think that war is supposed to be a “fair fight”. That the Marines are not supposed to carry guns or “look mean”. You are just jealous get over it. They get laid you don’t.

  18. Hey how about those US Navy Seals killing the pirates? It is nothing to brag about, but they are brave, they did protect US flag ships. You wouldn’t make it through boot camp much less INDOC, BUDS, and SRQ. Predictable whiners thats what you are. Feel sorry for the child pirates. Oh boo hoo hoo. They will just esclate. Ok the cops should use that logic when they respond to your domestics. Oh we won’t respond to murders because they will just escalate the situation. Just talk and talk and if someone dies its ok cause its not you,They had a choice don’t attack American ships and you won’t die. As far as the claim of fishing rights, and pollution “forcing the to be pirates” That is sheer garbage ever listened to the USMC theme song and heard the phrase ” from the hills of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli”.? Might want to look it up. Piracy has been around since Egyptians and the Ethopians clashed. Kill em if they take ships, lives, your booty, and a ransom, kill em and Horay for the Seals.

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