Funny Stories – Better New Words

Funny Stories

Better New Words

Kathleen Austin

Better New Words by Kathee Austin

Thanks to the authors of New Words and More Words, who challenged this brain dead mind of mine to THINK again! Please check back often as the list of definitions below is likely to grow.  Words That Don’t Exist

More word definitions:

Pizzacide (peet’ suh side)v. The act of picking up the pizza dough to knead it and discovering that it wasn’t quite dough yet as it slithers through your fingers on it’s way to the floor.

Escapaholic (ess cape uh hall’ ik)n. A person who mistakenly thinks that if they press their escape key over and over and over again it will stop any action on their pc no matter what.

Omigoshimdeadmeat (Oh my gosh, I’m dead meat)v. That sinking feeling you get when you gossip about the person you just received an email from and discover too late that you used the reply icon instead of the forward icon and sent your repsonse back to the same person you’re gossiping about.

Forwardmailfunctionnormal (for wurd may il funk shun nor mul)n. A wise person who always uses the forward mail icon when gossiping about a person they just received email from.

Chorepalsy (chor pawl’ zee)n. A person who can no longer do housework due to paralysis of certain housework cleaning muscles.

Workthosekidsophobia (wurk thoz kidz oh foe be uh)n. Fear of making your kids do all the work around the house.

Bribethemtheywilldoitation (br eye b thehm thay wil du it ay shun)v. The act of paying mega bucks to lure your teens do work around the house.

Teledextrous (tel eh dex trus)v. The ability to clean house while talking on your cordless phone.

Pcdextrous (pee see dex trus)v. The amazing ability to clean house while working on your personal computer.

Wysiwyg (wuht yu see iz wuht yu git)n. 1. A person who is self confident and puts on no pretense. 2. A housework challenged homemaker who doesn’t try to hide the fact that they are challenged. 3. What the mother see’s of her house when she comes home from work and discovers the kids have already been home. 4. The teenager’s bedroom.


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