Funny Stories – Chicken Legs

Funny Stories

Chicken Legs

By Kathee Austin

I grew up hating my legs. It was bad enough they were skinny, but worse yet were those darned boney knock-knees.

As an adult I’ve come to accept what is and learned to get on with my life! I try not to let the inferior feelings of my adolescence creep into this eccentric mind of mine.

My solution: I just cover them up so as to not draw attention to my short-comings — or is that long-goings?! Now this works well for half the year, but in the warmer weather, it’s especially bad since:

It’s hotter ‘en hades here in Phoenix, AZ USA.

You ladies out there can probably sympathize with me on this one in the summertime; you gotta start shaving those legs again!

But what the heck for? I often wonder why. Is it entirely for vanity? I should say not! I think we shave our legs so they will be silky smooth for when we… oh never mind! I’ll just look forward to my reprieve in the winter again!

I have yet to find the perfect razor; one that will remove EVERY hair on the knees. Since my knees are so boney. I have to be eSpEcIaLlY careful when I shave my legs. I’ve tried the tic, tac, toe method. I’ve gone backwards, sideways and shaved them criss/cross and STILL cannot get all of that fuzz off of my knees!

Years ago I even bought one of those TORTURE shavers; I’m sure some of you got sucked into buying one too. You know, the one with the coil on it that literally rIPpEd the hairs out in groups of ten? I was too ashamed of my purchase to take it back to the store, so I just packed it away in my razor archives along with all of the other shavers and razors that missed the mark.

I keep hanging in there, every day, religiously! You’d think by shaving EVERY day I’d manage to eventually shave the one’s I missed the day before.

Yesterday, I was in a grocery store and happened to glance down at my knees and discovered to my horror that I had simply NEVER shaved my knees before! It seems as if the hairs from my youth actually survived all of these years! How can this be? How can someone miss so many hairs day after day when shaving each and every single day?

I’ve heard the women in Europe don’t shave at all. Now thar’s a thought.

And furthermore, don’t you just hate it when you’re shaving UP your shins and the razor slips and you shave OFF the skin too? And of course, those are the type of cuts that don’t bleed right away. The absolute WORSE kind! I hate it when that happens!

I was preparing chicken legs for dinner the other day. As I was cleaning the chicken I noticed that it had the same type of “fuzzy” problem as I have on my knees! My first thought after I put my razor away was that I oughta’ just buy skinless chicken!! Why go through all this frustration?

If I can’t shave my own legs right, what makes me think I can shave the microscopic leftover feathers off a chicken’s legs?

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