Funny Stories – Cat Humor

Funny Stories

Cat Humor

Kathee Austin

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms.

“Hey, lady,” yells Larry, “Throw me the cat.”

“No,” she cries, “It’s too far.”

“I play football, I can catch him.”

The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Larry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.

Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handed catch.

The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers. Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

Disclaimer:

animated catI am a cool cat lover and admire the beauty of cats.  I would love to have a cat as a pet in my home.  I am, however, very allergic to cats!

My grand daughter Emily told her other grandma that I “love cats, but just don’t like the kind of cats that breathe.”  Kids say the darndest things!  I love live cats and am missing out in life by never having a cat to cuddle.

To compensate for my own loss of real live cats in my life, I have a huge cat collection; well over 400 at the time of this update.  I have small cats, large cats, tall cats, fat cats, cuddly cats, ceramic cats, cat figurines, stuffed cats, toy cats, cat pillows, cat blankets, cat pics, cat pictures, cat towels, cat candles, cat plates, cat cups.  I have curio cabinets dedicated to cats.

If any cat lover is offended by this joke, oh well. I can’t please all cat lovers all the time. I share this cat joke simply because I think this cat joke is unexpectedly funny and I do not consider it degrading to cats at all.  Afterall, I love cats.

Quotes About Cats

11 Responses

  1. Kathy, stop being a wimp. The joke is funny and that is enough.

    To put it in perspective, we used to tell this joke when we were kids, only it was OJ Simpson and a baby. It was funny then, too.

  2. I suggest people who are offended by this joke go to http://www.rotten.com/ just to put things into perspective.

  3. that was not even the slightest bit funny!
    i dont particulary like cas but even so i dont get what its on anout!

  4. That is cute joke, I am cat fan myself that was not offense at all, but cute and funny

  5. The joke is only OK, but the disclaimer is absolutely hilarious. Thank you very much. Please do the same for racial stereotypes as soon as possible.

  6. The fact that you felt the need to add a disclaimer to your joke is truly pathetic…

  7. dude i could never catch a cat like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. The first time I heard this joke, it was a human baby.

  9. u know, i think the closest thing to a cat u could have NOT being allergic to is a hypoallergenic dog. its a dog that doesnt affect allergic ppl. my principal and friend has one

  10. Aww! Some of you guys are so mean! She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, let her be nice. It’s not a bad thing to be nice, I promise. I do it myself and I don’t regret a thing. I found the joke to be pretty cute too. I’m also not a cat lover, so it made it better =P.

  11. Dont worry the cat probably needed the spiking. My cat actually pierced my ear while I was sleeping. He crawled up by my head and bit a hole clean through my ear. I decided to put an earring in after cleaning hole and whalla a pierced ear. If I had caught that cat that night I might have spiked him, but alas he outran me, good for him I guess.

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