Why Parents Drink

Funny Jokes – Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad…’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

9 Responses

  1. Love it!

  2. Isn’t that the truth, there is more worse things in life than a report card ! šŸ™‚ Thanks for that reminder.

  3. That is a GREAT punchline!

  4. Wow, this was too hilarious! What helped matters was that I clicked through to it from the WordPress homepage. From the title alone I had no idea it was a joke…of course, by the trailer and the AIDS I had already figured it out.

  5. Nice… wonder if a variation of this approach would work with the manager at work:


    The Closer

  6. I LOVE THIS. Once I got to the ecstacy and cocaine I began to wonder but that is hilarious.

  7. that is so hillarious so funny.

  8. Good story! I’m sure it will ring a bell or two for most parents.

  9. HA ha ha ha!! it was hilarious!! i got it right away, and fell for it!!! dang that was a good joke!

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