Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day and Optimism

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
– Irv Kupcinet

Another Thanksgiving Day Joke

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

Jokes Funny Jokes

‘Twas the Month After Christmas

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste, At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared, The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The latte’s and snacks, the bread and the cheese, And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt, And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as I only can, You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished, ‘Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick, I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore, But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot, Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!