Funny Quotes – Funny Jokes

Funny Quotes

Funny Jokes

In Hillary Clinton’s new book ‘Living History,’ Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him,getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife.

Then on page two, the trouble starts.

–  Jay Leno

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Funny Jokes – Dear Fellow Business Owners

Dear Fellow Business Owners:

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely,

Funny Jokes Business Owner

For all of the commenting visitors:

If you liked or hated this one, you will probably like or hate this one as well

Famous Quotes

Political Jokes – Country Preacher

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.

He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects:

a Bible,
a silver dollar,
a bottle of whisky
and a Playboy magazine

‘I’ll just hide behind the door,’ the old preacher said to himself, ‘when he comes home from school this afternoon,I’ll see which object he picks up.

If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard,and, Lord, what a shame that would be.
And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he’s gonna be a skirt-chasin’ bum.’

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.

He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month’s Centerfold.

‘Lord have mercy,’ the old preacher disgustedly whispered, ‘He’s gonna run for Congress!’