Thanksgiving Joke – Turkey Practice

The ValdosterU football team had just finished their daily practice
session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field.

While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up
to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared
in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right
through the defensive line.

When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted,
“You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that
you get a great scholarship!”

“Forget the scholarship,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is,
does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving Joke – Stuffed Turkey

Q: Why wouldn’t the turkey eat any dessert?
A: He was stuffed!

Thanksgiving Joke – Turkey Fight

Turkey Jokes

Q: What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day and Optimism

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
– Irv Kupcinet

Another Thanksgiving Day Joke

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

Jokes Funny Jokes

Thanksgiving Joke – Grateful Marriage

GRATEFUL MARRIAGE
An elderly couple, Minnie and Max, sit down to their Thanksgiving dinner. Before eating, his wife speaks up. “Can I ask you a question, Max?”

“Sure Minnie,” Max says, waiting to dig into his meal.

“Has our 50 years of marriage made you grateful?”

“Yes, indeed!” Max replied. “For the twenty years I was a bachelor!”

Thanksgiving Joke – Thanksgiving Weather

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high
near 190F.  The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cooks,
be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice
through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates.
Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates
slippery spots on the other.  Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area,
with increased stuffiness around the beltway.  During the evening, the turkey
will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the
refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will
be established.  Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50
percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.  We expect a warming trend
where soup develops.  By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the
only wish left will be the bone.

Thanksgiving Jokes

Roasting a Turkey

Thanksgiving Jokes – Thanksgiving Divorce

Thanksgiving Divorce – Thanksgiving Joke

Joke of the Day

A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,” > She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

Thanksgiving Quotes