Student – Arizona Cardinals Fan

Student – Arizona Cardinals Fan

An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in Pittsburgh and trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she’s a Steelrs fan. She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are Steelers fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: “Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?”

Because I’m not a Steelers fan,” she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked: “Well, if you’re not a Steelers fan, then who do you support?”

“I’m an Arizona Cardinals fan, and proud of it,” Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. “Mary, why are you an Arizona Cardinals fan?”

“Because my mom and dad are from Arizona and my mom is an Arizona Cardinals fan and my dad is an Arizona Cardinals fan, so I’m an Arizona Cardinals fan too!”

“Well,” said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, that’s no reason for you to be an Arizona Cardinals fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?”

Mary said, “Then I’d be a Steelers fan.”

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, “What is your IQ?” the man answers “241.”

“That is wonderful!,” says Albert. “We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!”

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, “What is your IQ?” the lady answers, “144.”

“That is great!,” responds Albert. “We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!”

Albert goes to another person and asks, “What is your IQ?” the man answers, “51.”

Albert responds, “How ’bout them Steelers?”

Little Johnny

My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad

Little Johnny went to school one Monday morning in mid-February.  It was the day he’d been dreading all year.  It was “tell us about your father day” at show and tell.

The first little girl got up and said “My daddy is a fire fighter.  He puts out fires and saves little kittens from trees.”

Another boy stood up.  “My father is a doctor.  He makes people feel better when they’ve become sick or broken a bone.”

Another little girl stood up.  “My father is a construction worker.  He’s built many buildings, including our school.”

Finally, it was Little Johnny’s turn.  He walked up in front of the class and looked around nervously.  What seemed like hours passed, and he finally blurted out “My daddy works as a dancer in a gay Cabaret.  He dances naked until 2:00 a.m. then he takes men behind the curtain to earn extra money.”

Shocked, his teacher pulled him aside.  “Johnny,” she asked, “is everything you said true?”

Blushing, Johnny said “No.  I made it up.  I’m embarrassed about my father’s profession.”

The teacher said “How much worse could it be?  What does your daddy do?”

Beginning to cry, Johnny said “He plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers!”

The teacher now understood.

True Football Fan

True Football Fan

Recently, I was at a  Packers game. My seat wasn’t the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, “No”.

I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, “My wife use to love to come to these games until she died.”

“Why didn’t you give this seat away to a friend?” I asked.

He replied, “Because they are all at her funeral.”