Funny Jokes

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of them when we were getting born.

Funny Jokes

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.

Funny Jokes

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say “NO” to drugs and
“YES” to chores.

Funny Courage Joke

#jokes #funny #comedy #humor

Courage
A student of philosophy was taking his final written exam at his
university. The assignment for the 5-hour long exam was to write
an essay on the topic, “What is courage?”

The young man sat at his desk and thought for a little while. Finally,
he scribbled something on the piece of paper in front of him, got up,
and turned in the piece of paper.

All he had written was: “This is.”

Funny Joke

#jokes #funny #comedy #humor

Daytime Television

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and
was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television
here?”

“Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At night we’re locked in
our cells and don’t see any television.”

“That’s too bad,” the reporter said, “But I do think it is nice that
the warden lets you watch it in the daytime.”

“What do you mean, nice?” the inmate said. “That’s part of the
punishment!”

Funny Joke

#jokes #funny #comedy #humor

Priorities
I’m not afraid of dying, but I sure hope I
use all my vacation days before it happens.

Funny Doctor Joke

#jokes #funny #comedy #humor

A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous
specialist.

“So who did you see before coming to me?” asked the important doctor.

“My local General Practitioner, Dr. Smith.”

“Your GP?” scoffed the doctor. “What a waste of time. Tell me, what
sort of stupid and useless advice did Smith give you?”

“He told me to come and see you….”