Needing Medical Help

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“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!”

“Do you drink a lot?”

“Not really – I spill most of it!”

Funny Joke

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four.  The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”  The nine year old replies “Nope, not for my mom.”    Without thinking, the cashier responded  “Well, they must be for your sister then?”

The nine year old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.”   The cashier had now become curious  “Oh.  Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?”   The nine year old says “They’re for my four year old little brother.”

The cashier is surprised “Your four year old little brother??”

The nine year old explains: “Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!”

Funny Jokes

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde…
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, ‘Airport Left,’ she turned around and went home..

Funny Jokes

More Cannibals

When do cannibals leave the table?
When everyone’s eaten.

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show?
A Celebrity Roast.

Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
Eatin’ Allen’s.

What did the cannibal give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A box of farmer’s fannies.

What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.

What do cannibals make out of politicians?
Bologna sandwiches.

What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.

What is a cannibal’s favorite game?
Swallow the leader.

Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
Dinner costs an arm and a leg.

One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn’t like.