Things Mom Would Never Say

1. “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

2. “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”

3. “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look
more cheery.”

4. “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another
week.”

5. “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to
feed and walk him every day.”

6. “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough
for me.”

7. “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not
like I’m running a prison around here.”

8. “I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve.”