Halloween Jokes

This just in from Thelly the Story Lady in Cardiff by the Sea – She just had knee replacement surgery.

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9.  You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.


8.  You ask for high fiber candy only.



7.  When someone drops a candy  in your bag, you lose your Balance and fall over.

6.  People say: “Great Boris Karloff Mask,”
    And you’re not wearing a mask.




5.  When the door opens you yell, “Trick or .”And can’t remember the rest.

4.  By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3.  You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

2.  You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.


And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating…
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*
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1.  You keep having to go home to pee.


No matter, have a ‘HAPPY HALLOWEEN” anyway.

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Guess I’m the only Trick or Treater in the neighborhood with a walker…but it’s getting me from here to there until my new knee gets better…whenever that is!

 

Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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Funny Jokes – MY kind of woman

Funny Jokes – MY kind of woman

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her
girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man
entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly
toward her (as all men will).

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and
whispered to her, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to
do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00……on one condition.” (There are always
conditions)

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, “You
have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.” (controlling, huh?)

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20
bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man’s hand along with her
address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said….

“Clean my house.”