Halloween Jokes

Funny Jokes – for Halloween

Trick or Treating by your sign…

# Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.

# Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.

# Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.

# Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.

# Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out because someone else had the same idea.

# Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they’re a bookkeeper.

# Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.

# Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy.

# Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.

# Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.

# Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.

# Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.

Funny Jokes – Pragmatism

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing.

“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!”

“Oh dear! I’m very sorry,” replied her friend, “What did you do?”

“Opened a can of peas.”