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Irish Jokes

Irish Quotes

St. Patrick’s Day Quotes

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.

– Irish Saying

Shortest Irish joke ever: Two Irishmen walk out of a bar

Q: What’s Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

A: Patty O’Furniture!

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck.

– Daryl Stout

Q. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?

A. Gaelic breath.

Irish Recipes

Irish Jokes

Real Estate Jokes

This blog is called Funny Jokes and I post funny jokes, stupid jokes and silly jokes from time to time.

I was looking at source material from our long running Funny Jokes Mailing List and came across a few real estate related jokes and decided that perhaps they would be appreciated here … and perhaps not.

Communication styles

How do mathematicians communicate?
Sine language.

How do chiropractors communicate?
Spine language.

How do astrologers communicate?
Star Sign language.

How do naval cadets communicate?
Ensign language.

How do shoe repairmen communicate?
Shine language.

How do real estate closers communicate?
Sign Here and Sign Here and Sign Here and Sign Here and sign… language.

I will try posting a few and if you hate them, please let me know, if you love them, please let me know.

I can’t tell you whether discouraging me or encouraging me will cause me to continue but time will tell.

Thank you,

Bill Austin

heart-warming stories

From My Mother-in Law

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from North-western University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.  :- (

This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming bulloney stories.

Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
Join the fun at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life-story-writing/