Funny Jokes – Contact Lens

Lost Contact Lens

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside, and in a few minutes, she returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

Funny Jokes

Introducing the Fiance

A Jewish girl brings her fiance home to meet the parents.

After dinner her mother tells the father to find out about the young man.

“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.

“I am a Torah scholar,” he replies.

“Admirable,” the father says, “but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?”

“I will study,” he replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And children? How will you support your children?”

“I will study,” he replies, “and God will provide for us.”

The conversation continues this way for some time.

Later the mother asks her husband, “How did it go?”

The father answers, “The bad news is he has no job, and no plan, but the good news is he thinks I’m God!”